


five things

by hyacinths



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Canon Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 18:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7450336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinths/pseuds/hyacinths
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And you know how his touches feel, what colors his eyes are, how his voice sounds when he speaks your name.<br/>But not how he loves you back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	five things

 

 

 

 

 

_~_  

_first_

Gon always did things. 

Things like touching. 

Touching Killua.

His hand—calloused and hardened from all the training—would grab Killua's wrist in a gentle hold, and Gon would smile, slowly pulling him outside to the overlooking cliff, the sea, and the setting sun.

Unnecessary, Killua can walk himself. Killua could follow Gon.

But Gon just had to hold him, touch him, and send his senses astray.

Gon's touch is always warm, always felt like it basked in the sun before it touched his pale cold skin.

 

And Gon's touch always made him feel like he was loved.

_~_

_second_

The sunlight would hit his face at just the right angles. Orange beams of light that complimented his already sun-kissed skin. Gon's eyes would reflect colors of the earth, and when it looked at him, a lot of things didn't matter.  
"Killua?" He would say, a questioning gaze asking why Killua stared at him longer than necessary, longer than 'normal'. 

But how could he not? 

How could he not?

"Yeah?" Killua would reply, trying to sound like staring at his best friend was normal, or that nothing was wrong.

"You were staring." 

"No, I wasn't." 

But when Gon just sat beside him like this, close enough to smell the day on his skin, Killua couldn't help but stare.

 

_~_

_third_

Three years of nothing meant something close to meeting another stranger. A stranger he could hear out of the loud chatter in the crowd, calling his name with such joy that it was almost hard to believe.

Three years of not hearing Gon's voice apparently changes nothing. Because Killua could still pick it up from the thousands. Gon would always laugh a little when Killua called back, a low laugh from smiling so much.

"Killua!"

He would know this voice anywhere, anywhere, anywhere.

 

_~_

_fourth_

He remembers Gon looking at him, "I'm happy when I'm with you." That night, starlight and crackling fire. The heavens basked, full of stars. And yet Gon's eyes were still somehow brighter.

Brown eyes turning gold if he so much leans closer to Killua, turning into a void of black if he was under a shade, dancing between spectrums of colors.

Gon had his very own rainbow in those eyes of his.

And when he smiles, it stops the very storm in Killua's heart.

 

~

_fifth_

Blood, blood, and blood. 

How much blood can a person lose? Killua didn't want to know.

He just carried him.

Once full of sunshine and bursting with life, now lay lifeless and deaf to his pleas.

Maybe this life wasn't for them. Wasn't for them to be together long enough for Killua to see wrinkles on Gon's smile, or his graying hair, or even just see him smile one more time.

A lot of things are unsaid, some of them spilled from his mouth in a desperate haste to make Gon cling to life. Some _Idiot, stupid, if you die I'm going to kill you._ And  _Hey Gon, you said you'll take me back to Whale Island again right? We'll go back together again, right?_ And a lot of _What about Mito-san, Gon? Kurapika? Leorio? Do you want them to see you like this? Gon, Gon, Gon. Please, Gon._  But these, Gon never heard.

"I don't want to lose you." He says last. Not in this life, not yet.

 

~

_sixth_

 

When Killua told Gon he'll be with him until he knows what he wants to do,

Gon had loved him then.

When Killua went with him to find his dad,

Gon had loved him then.

When Killua offered his hands just to win a game,

Gon had loved him then.

When Killua shouted his name as he gives the final blow to someone already dead,

Gon had loved him most.

 

Gon had loved him from the start.

  


 

**Author's Note:**

> this is inspired from a tumblr post (http://reasonsforforgettingtobreathe.tumblr.com/post/107394089559/first-he-touches-you-and-you-light-on-fire-your) but sadly the author/writer deactivated. 
> 
> thanks for reading :)


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